In this blog post, you’ll find the best German jokes. Let’s get started!
best German jokes
As the saying goes, laughter is the best medicine. This holds especially true when it comes to medicine that addresses our need for a good laugh.
Nobody can argue with the fact that humor has evolved in Germany throughout the centuries from German folk art to the most up-to-date comedy movies.
The country’s vast cultural diversity and long history have inspired numerous jokes and funny phrases that are still popular today. The folksy nature of German culture, and its emphasis on rationality, are also key ingredients in German jokes.
After all, it’s not easy being humorous as a nation with a reputation for being so serious! Nevertheless, you will find German jokes here with some useful advice at the end…
Where do you find a German?
If you want to find a German, don’t look in the mirror! That’s because Germans don’t look like anybody else.
Simply put, you can find a German anywhere in the world. The country’s reputation for being so stubborn, serious, and anal-retentive often leads people to believe that this is precisely why you should look for a German.
You might need a German to help you open a stubborn jar, but the one who won’t budge is the real challenge! Of course, the stereotype about Germans being serious is not entirely accurate.
Modern Germany is a modern nation with a thriving contemporary culture matched by its historical richness. And, of course, there is the language itself: one of the most difficult languages in the world to master!
The old lady and the stork
One day an old lady is strolling along the street when she notices a stork carrying a baby. She stops and watches the stork, exclaiming:
“Wow, what big feet he has!” She stares at the stork’s feet and then says, “Wait for a second; what if I try to put his shoes on?”
So, the old lady grabs the stork’s feet and starts trying to put the stork’s shoes on, and soon the old lady is so engrossed in the act that she doesn’t notice that a crowd has gathered around her.
After a while, the people in the crowd realize that the old lady is in a state of distraction, and they gently tell her to return to reality.
The old lady looks down and sees that she is trying to put the stork’s shoes on, and she suddenly comes back to her senses and realizes that she’s in a public place with a bird and a crowd of people all around.
The butcher, the baker and the candlestick-maker.
A butcher, a baker, and a candlestick-maker are locked in jail, and they start to argue about who is the best at his job.
The candlemaker argues that his work is the most important in the world, that without it, no one would be able to see in the dark, and that without light, people are in danger of dying of hunger.
The butcher argues that his job is to cut up any animal and share the meat with the people. The baker disagrees, arguing that his job is to make bread out of meat and that people would starve to death without bread.
The candlemaker is furious and shouts: “Who cares about any of your stupid jobs? Let me out of here! I’m the most important!”
Wordplay: Which animal is most like which German word?
You can also use wordplay to find many German jokes on the internet. For example, you can try substituting any German word with the word “animal.”
This works particularly well with German words with an ending that suggests a similar meaning to the word “animal” in other languages. So, for example, we might substitute a German word with the ending “-en” with the English word “-en.”
For example, a German word with the ending “-en” might remind us of the English word “-en”—and thus make us think about animals.
A popular German word, for example, is “-en,” which ends with “-en.” If we replace “-en” with “-en,” then this gives us a wordplay that reminds us of English words that end with “-en.”
Some common words that end with “-en” in English are home, sleep, pen, and roof. For fun, you can also try substituting other common German words with an ending that suggests the word “animal” with the word “-en.”
Some common German words with a “-en” ending are -enjoyment, -ment, -city, -ity, -able, -er, -est, -ing, -ism, -ist, -ity, -like, -man, -women, and -ing. You can also try substituting different words with different endings and see what you get!
The end of an affair.
After a long, happy relationship, inevitably, things will eventually come to an end, and one day you walk out of that relationship as usual, but this time, you walk out in a completely different way.
You walk out smiling from ear to ear because you’ve finally found the person you’ve been looking for all this time. You walk out with your head high, knowing that you made the right decision.
You leave the relationship with your pride intact because you know you are a great person. You walk out of your relationship with your head held high because you know you are a great person.
A salad for dinner, but what about breakfast?
There is a popular German joke about someone who wakes up every morning and thinks: “Today I’m going to take a walk in the forest, pick some wild berries and have a delicious salad for dinner!”
But then, at night, he thinks: “Oh well, it’s just a salad again tomorrow.” This German joke is based on a true story!
In the early 20th century, a group of German scientists performed an experiment where they tried to prove that fresh vegetables were much more nutritious than those that had been stored for a long time.
They performed the experiment for a few weeks, and the results seemed pretty conclusive, but when they published the study, they accidentally omitted one simple fact: they only fed the scientists salad for dinner!
A final word on German jokes: should you ever get stuck in a conversation.
Remember, as with any joke, it’s important not to overdo it! It’s best to use German jokes as a conversation starter but then let the other person do the talking.
Refrain from assuming that any German joke you think is really funny will be appreciated by the person you are talking to.
For example, if you come across a German joke about an old lady, you should assume that your friend might not find it as funny as you do!
The best approach is to be friendly but not pester or force your German friend to tell you German jokes. Remember, the best German jokes come from the heart, and it’s much better to wait until they do than force them to tell one.